


Team Building

by tftbfm



Category: Silicon Valley (TV)
Genre: Dank, Drugs, Marijuana, Weed, dope, herb, kush - Freeform, mary jane, pot, reefer, that good good, that sticky, the devils lettuce, tree - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-26
Updated: 2016-04-26
Packaged: 2018-06-04 14:54:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6663235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tftbfm/pseuds/tftbfm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erlich gets the members of Pied Piper (minus Gilfoyle) high for the first time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Team Building

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SexuallyMonsterous (Alli_Bialystock)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alli_Bialystock/gifts).



> this fic is bad, i am high as fuck writing this, but i really do not care. purely for enjoyment of the party here involved, (me) and also alli
> 
> my tumblr is cornfucker feel free to talk to me about SV or just like anything
> 
> love you i hope you get some enjoyment from this. right about where monica gets high is where i got like, really high. so sorry for that

"I want to thank you all for joining me here. Tonight is a momentous occasion." Erlich started, smiling. He was the only one standing, everyone else having made themselves as comfortable as they could be. Jared and Richard were stiff as boards, Monica was sitting with her legs crossed as close as humanly possible, and Dinesh was already halfway into the couch.

"I bet you're all wondering why I called you here," Erlich continued.

"Is it because you want to give me all of your shares in Pied Piper?" Dinesh asked, arms crossed, sunk into the couch.

"No, it's-" Erlich tried.

"You want to give me your car."

"No. Absolutely not. Fuck you for even insinuating I would ever do such a thing. Will you shut up for a second and listen to what I'm saying?" He sneered at Dinesh, who just rolled his eyes.

"There's a few bongs and a sad attempt at a cheese platter on the table, how important can this be?" Monica piped in, always loving pushing Erlich's buttons when they weren't doing actual 'business' things.

"Listen up you chumps, I'm going to get you all high for the first time. This is important to me. I am sharing my culture with you." 

It was times like this Dinesh wished he was on a show like The Office, so he could have some camera to stare into. He didn't even have the strength to argue that smoking weed with his co-workers wasn't sharing any sort of culture. It was just smoking a plant. 

Richard immediately stood up and went for the door. He didn't really want to get high. 

"I'm pretty paranoid already, I don't think this will really help me at all. The THC will just exacerbate my anxiety, and-"

"Richard, you poor beautiful angel." Richard squinted his eyes at the nickname, not sure where that came from. Was he already high, or just being Erlich? "This is some Grape Ape. Don't laugh. It's some of the sweetest Indica your bitch tits will ever lay its sights on. The high amount of cannabidiol will make you calm down. There's barely any THC in here compared to most other strains. It's just a comfy high, not a frantic high." Erlich shrugged his shoulders. "You don't have to, though. If you don't want to, that's okay."

Richard mulled it over.

"It'll be like a team building exercise! We had them all the time back at Hooli." Jared smiled. It was one of the few things he missed about Hooli. He just really loved teamwork.

"If you ever say some shit like that again, you're not getting any weed. We aren't like Hooli at all, and this isn't a business corporate retreat or whatever the fuck. This is just friends..." 

Jared's smile widened when Erlich called them all friends without even thinking about it.

"Friends hanging out." Erlich finished. He almost smiled at Jared, but went against it. "Now, Richard. Do you know how to do this?"

"Yeah, I uh, I got it alright." 

Richard did not have it alright.

Erlich lit the bowl for Richard and instructed Richard to inhale and then hold it as long as he could. He could only hold it for a few seconds before launching into a coughing fit. Jared pulled a bottle of water out of seemingly nowhere and handed it to Richard almost immediately. 

"Monica. You doing this?" Erlich asked. 

"Yeah, sure." She didn't know what she was doing, but after watching Richard, she picked up on the technique quickly. She even used her personalized Zippo. How fancy.

"Why are you doing this, Monica? I didn't think you were the type." Dinesh looked up from Tinder to ask.

"I've never even done a single drug in my whole life. Catholic school doesn't give you much opportunity, and I was just busy with business... stuff... after that."

"Hey, who knows, maybe this'll replace your absolutely filthy smoking habit, Monica!" Erlich offered, smiling at her.

"We were smoking together like ten minutes ago, Erlich."

"We pinkie swore not to tell anyone. Is nothing sacred to you?" 

Richard was trying so hard to light the bowl so he could hit it again, but kept failing. Monica and Erlich were too busy bickering for either of them to notice. Jared helped him out with the lighter, for which Richard was eternally grateful. He began petting the bong in his lap, smiling at it as if it was a small animal deserving love. 

"Why are we listening to Will Smith's 'Miami' on repeat?" Dinesh asked, swiping right on every girl on Tinder. Monica and Richard nodded, wondering the same thing.

"Shut up." 

"I actually really enjoy this song." Jared smiled, looking up at Erlich. Richard passed the bong to him. He took a hit while Erlich started talking. 

"Thank you, Jared. I'm glad we have our shared love of Will Smith's too short rap career to bond over."

"We've agreed on many things, and I'm sure if we keep hanging out, we'd find out we had even more in common than anyone would have originally thought!" Jared smiled, still desperately wanting to become close with Erlich. Erlich responded with a sort of but not really smile, and sank into his favorite spot on the loveseat he refused to share with anyone else. 

The song finally changed from Miami to an arguably even better one. R Kelly's Ignition remix.

"Can you get me one of these, Erlich?" He asked, pointing to the bong Jared was using. He reached out to stroke it lovingly.

Erlich felt his heart swell up with pride. If he had no restraint, he might feel himself tear up a bit. 

Monica has been thinking about absolutely nothing except how comfortable this couch was for the last five minutes. She decided to take another hit at the same time as Dinesh, but ended up taking one way too big. Yet another bottle of water was produced by Jared. What a kind man. 

"You give so much, Jared. Thank you." Monica smiled over at Jared. Jared thought that this pot stuff really brought out the best in people. He was a little too high to respond with words, instead saying everything with vague hand gestures.

The five friends were all relaxing for once. This really was a miracle. A suggestion from Dinesh to "cuddle up and shit," was received well. 

"It'll be like, twenty times the comfy." Dinesh laughed.

((Author's note: I have no idea how the fuck to link this or put this in the actual story. But it's an amazing drawing of how the gang is cuddling. http://imgur.com/WCac1k5 ))

"Okay, I like, know how to do this whole weed thing, 'cause I've watched Gilfoyle, but man, I mean, this is a lot. Like a lot." 

"Close your eyes, Dinesh." Erlich coached, voice surprisingly soft. "Tell me what you're seeing."

"Triangles. Blue and yellow triangles... Always blue..." Dinesh smiled. He curled into a ball and let himself slump onto the floor, dragging a bunch of pillows and blankets down with him. He was determined to be the most comfortable fucker alive if it was the last thing he did. And it was the last thing he did, for a little bit at least. He fell asleep, clutching onto a pillow as if he was spooning it.

Everyone else made themselves comfortable with each other. Richard felt oddly at home cuddled up with his friends. Jared was happy to be snuggled up with Richard, and even more happy that even though Erlich refused to call this a team bonding experience, that's what it really was. Erlich was thinking about how nice everyone smelled. He didn't expect Richard to smell like citrus, or Monica to smell like oatmeal, honey, and cigarettes. He wondered what he smelled like. Monica got a little mad at herself for how quickly she gave into the idea of resting her head on Erlich's shoulder, but forgave herself after she decided to blame it all on the weed. 

The effects of the drugs kicked in seemingly all at once. The group yawned almost in perfect unison, all having goofy smiles plastered across their faces. 

"We should do this again next week." Erlich suggested. Everyone responded with a few happy sounding mumbles before slowly drifting off to sleep. 

**Author's Note:**

> well that was shit


End file.
